Twenty-One Guns. <3

So, it's 3:17A.M. I have to wake up at 6:30 to go to school. Yeah, that bullshit. & today, well last night & yesterday.. well some previous time before this blog, I HAD AN EPIPHANY. I had a couple epiphanies. For some reason my FUTURE have been on my mind lately. Even though I have a good 518 days of high school to go through. I tend to worry about my future. Because I see in the world today some rich people & you know, some not-so-rich people & then just strugglin' people. & Like I most definitely don't want to be at the bottom, & my mind is made up that I'M NOT going to be at the bottom, at least Mid-High Class? Ahah. :$
I'm a new born 15 & I'm already tired of depending on my mom, & it's not that she won't get me what I want. It's not because money is the issue, money is not the issue. It's not because my mom doesn't like me (that I know of). But whatev, what I'm saying is.. I wanna be self-dependent. Well at least semi-self dependent.
Ehhh, I had a couple more epiphanies, but I'll share those sometimes later.

Oh, did I mention I got diagnosed with Insomnia today?

the Second All Nighter of the Summer.

So if my summer was good one, you know there'd be more right?

Well, I must say the Summer of 2009 sucked MAJOR scrotum. Not even like the firm, healthy scrotum. It sucked like the old Hugh Hef, overload of viagra, cheap sex & suckage scrotum. Yeah, bad scrotum, huh?

I remember my first all-nighter of the summer like it was fah-reakin yesterday. One of THEE funnest days of my life. It was June 6, 2009. Why do I remember the date? I'm a real date person, if it was good, then I know the date. It was a Saturday (I had to look that part up). & Nothing, you know time-stopping great happened, but I had actually felt like a teenager. You know, not the type of teenager that sits behind a computer all day & just waste their time, you know?
But yeah, long story short, it was a GREAT night. I was still...shall I say, pure.

But anywhoo, the all-nighter of last night was nothing serious. It was constructed of being on the phone with multiple people until the sun came up. Redic. I guess it was full of "Exposing" & stuff like that. It was fun tho.

I have SO MANY different delimas going in my life, it really is just horrible. But it's kinda getting better, I can't even lie.
But, I could cover that in another post. But, I hope in the long run, it all paves out smoothly.

:\

Being Ordinary Is Far From Extraordinary.

Tears On My Sleeve.
Lying On the Ground.
Lost With No Direction.
No Compass or Sign to Show Me.
Lead Me to Something.
I Feel SO Alone.
& All My Hope Is Gone.
I've Let God Down.
Yet, I'm Prayin He Hasn' t Let Me Go.
I Hope He Hasn't Given Up On Me,
Like I've Given Up On Myself.

The last thing I want is for anybody to give up on me. But I must love myself before anyone else can, eh?