mhmm, yes; It's time.

Soooo, title: basically means I've had an

EVOLUTION.

Pretty much. & welpp, it's just me letting go of things that doesn't need to be. Dropping things that doesn't matter, letting go of dead weight. I feel like a snake that's shedding it's outer layer, it feels so good.

I've realized so much about myself in this past week, it's crazy. Like, Idk. I've just, I've just Idk.. hmmm.

This Past Week:

• I slowwwwwwly [gotten over....?], stopped thinking, & yes, got over himm. Because I realized, things weren't mutual, and they weren't, and they'll never be. It's like I accidentally chose the role of the girl that cares about this...this asshole & his role is just to play the asshole & you know...it was just like me pouring all I have into a shattered cup---pointless. I'm not going to say I loved him.. but I don't know, I sure as hell cared, thought about him daily, and hourly, & just about every minute of the day. Like no matter if I was sad, happy, 'focused' on my homework; I thought about him all the focking time.  I just got so impatient because when I know that what I'm doing is not going to help me in no way, shape or form it bothers me. & that's what I was doing, wasting valuable time. SO, basis is, I'm so done with that, & I'm sure about that. "I'm not going to try to fit a square into a circle. I'm bolt locking doors & throwin away the key."[- I said that on my Twiiter status, & I love it, because I came up w/ it & it fits, perfectly.] But there's no hard feelings, I'm jut letting go & unlike Marques Houston..I'm not going in circles. & I'm not saying that I'm not ever gonna think about this guy again..because I know I will, there's not denying that fact, I will. But, I'm happy I've finally let go. 
• I'm DONE with flings. Like, no more. Point, blank, period; No More Flings fer me! Shiett, just...no.
  
• I also found out I'm reallllllly needy. Like, I've asked for 4 things in a week, idk if that's needy or just spoiled. No, it's just needy, because I've gotten NONE of them. So, this means I'm disobeying one of the 10 Commandments [ Thou shalt not want... ] :\ - thass not good, hm? But, in the Bible it says "Ask and you shall receive..", rightt...? [MAN, I SWEAR MY iTunes IS JAMMMIN TONIGHT, DANYUMM] butt, uhh. yeahh. I need to cut back on wanting stuff, forreal. It's making me feel like a brat.
• I made some positive goals for my future, for my life & I'm so proud of myself like I really am. You don't understand. I look @ my brothers & see what they're doing w/ their life.... Actually, my oldest one is really trying, I'm proud of him; on the contrary the other one is just makin' offsprings and not knowing what to do w/ his life. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he's still young. I just hope he get on the right path... I've realized that some of the choices I've been making recently....has not been so good. Like smoking, I've only smoked twice; first time- Black & Mild and the secondd...- Mary Jane. Both of those experiences, was almost horrible, I should have known after the first time that this hobby was not fer me, because it makes my lungs too close to collapsing; & I did both of those, just outta experience, MOSTLY curiosity, but the surprising part is.. there was no type of peer pressure involved, like at all. & they we're experienced w/ the same person... so what does that tell me about that person..? That I need to get my ass from around them. I'm not stoopid, I know right from wrong. So, I'm not gonna totally be-friend the person, but I do know that I need limits in my life, I need to set boundaries w/ that person. On the light side, I haven't drank alcohol since "Watery Apples" [LMFAO, omg]. & THAT DOESN'T EVEN COUNT, forreal. But I really need to get my life on track. I'm not tryna end up anything but great, you feel my breeze babe? If not, idc. In the great words of my husband, "I Just Wanna Be, I Just Wanna Be; Successful."<3. Forreal, tho. :]  

• I've also noticed a not good quality about myself. I mean, I haven't just noticed it, I've known, well I haven't known, I've just been ignoring it, I guess, or I haven't payed that much attention to it. To be honest, I just didn't CARE,  like I really didn't give-a-fuck. But I've been really careless with my "reputation", but really to tell the truth; I was only careless w/ it over the summer. & I didn't really do anything. Just, idk, some spur of the moment things that I really didn't think about. Do I regret them, oh-no, I had fun while it lasted... just thanks fer the memories & well, yeah. No more being so promiscuous tho.... I think, yeahh. I'm done, no more promiscuity, lol. Wait, I think it's like one person on my to-do list, & I'm done, forrreeallll! & I might just burn that to do list before the year is over... :]

Basically, this evolution is just about me telling myself that I really need to change. I need to show who I really am, I mean, that's gonna be hard because you know how most of your teens years your supposed to be finding yourself; & basically yes, I am still finding myself. Ugh, I hate being a teenager, it's totally not worth it to me. But, I can't complain. But like I was saying, I need to change in a positive direction.